Interracial dating continues to gain greater acceptance throughout the world. As a result, singles are more willing to bust down racial barriers to find their soulmate. There are several nuances and things to know that come with dating outside of your race, but once you know what these are, you will be well on your way to meeting great people of all backgrounds.
Why You Should Consider Interracial Dating
In 2015, 17 percent of newlyweds married someone of a different race than themselves, according to research conducted by Pew Research. In today’s society in most countries, interracial relationships are becoming more common and widely accepted.
It is a good thing to start expanding your horizons and not limiting the races and cultures that you date. The following are benefits associated with dating multiple races and cultures:
- There are no rules that your soulmate must share your race, so you increase your chances of meeting the best partner by not putting limits on race and culture
- When you date a variety of people, this gives you a chance to learn more about different cultures and races to expand your world
- You’re playing an active role in busting the stereotypes that exist in society about various races and cultures
- You will learn to see the world through a different perspective
- Even if you do not end up romantically involved, you’re expanding the diversity of your circle of friends and acquaintances
Choosing A Website For Dating People Of All Races
One of the most popular ways to get started with interracial dating is to choose an interracial dating website that allows you to meet people of all races and backgrounds. There are several things to keep in mind when you start searching for the perfect site to meet your soulmate:
• Consider a website that is known for having a diverse subscriber base to maximize how many races and cultures you might meet (EHARMONY IS BEST IN MY OPINION) (READ BEST INTERRACIAL DATING SITES)
• Look for websites with free trials so you can get to know a site before committing to a paid subscription
• Make sure that the site that you choose respects your privacy
• Use a website that verifies your identity so that you can be sure that you’re talking to real people and not bots
• Check out various review websites to see what people have to say about the websites that you’re considering
• If you’re on a budget, consider the cost to join the website since it is best to get a paid subscription because this gives you full access to dating websites
What To Discuss And Avoid On The First Date
One of the hardest parts of dating people from a different race is getting through the conversation on the first date. If you have not dated outside of your race before, you may be afraid of saying something offensive. The good news is that your date probably has this same fear, so you can bond over this.
There are certain topics that you want to avoid talking about when you are out on your first date. These are best saved until the two of you have established some trust.
The topics to avoid on a first date include:
- Avoid talking about society and stereotypes. This is a time to get to know each other as individuals, so save learning more about culture and race for a later date.
- While you want to share information about yourself, do not only talk about you. The conversation should be equal and balanced.
- Avoid talking about politics. Never assume someone’s political beliefs based on their race.
- Never discuss finances on a first date.
The following are good topics to discuss on your first date:
- Discuss the basics of your cultures and make it clear you have an interest in interracial relationships.
- Enjoy humor and do not be shy about telling jokes.
- Ask about their likes and dislikes, such as with art, entertainment, food and hobbies
- Ask them what they dream about and get to know their plans for the future.
Coping With The Common Struggles
Interracial dating, like all types of dating, comes with its own unique set of struggles. These struggles do not have to have a negative impact on your relationship. In fact, when you approach them the right way, they can actually strengthen your bond.
The following includes common struggles and ways to cope with them:
- No one thinks you are together: Unfortunately, some people see a couple of different races and just assume they are strangers. Unless someone is being vocal about this, it is best to just ignore it.
- Adjusting for linguistic differences: If you both has a different native language, this can present problems. Just be patient with each other and work to learn each other’s language.
- People make backhanded comments: Unfortunately, this will happen. Unless it is someone you know personally, it is best to let it roll off your back. Negativity is not worth your time.
- People tell race jokes: This will probably happen too. Just like the backhanded comments, let them go unless it is someone you know. In that case, let them know how hurtful race jokes are.
- People try to guess your partner’s background: Many people think this is just getting to know your partner. Your partner might not even be bothered. However, stop them from guessing and just tell them your partner’s background.
- People refuse to accept you: You may find people from either your race or the race of your partner who will not accept interracial dating. If the person who will not accept you is important to you, talk to them about it. Otherwise, just let it go and focus on your partner.
- You’re harassed in public: Unfortunately, racist and hateful people are present all over the world. When an interracial couple are out together, there may be times when people harass you for simply being a couple. Unless they are causing you harm, just walk away and ignore them.
Meeting The Parents And Family
Meeting the family is probably the scariest part of interracial dating because you simply do not know what to expect. With a few tips, you can simplify this part of your interracial relationship journey.
First and foremost, relax and breathe. If your partner is ready to introduce you to their parents, you can be sure that their parents already know a lot about you. Once you find out about the meeting, ask your partner about their parents and family so that you can prepare.
Get to know things about their family, such as topics to discuss, topics to avoid, their careers and interests and anything else that can contribute to a good and lighthearted conversation. To ensure that the conversation flows well, make sure that the meeting takes place in a relaxed environment.
Make sure that you’re understanding of the fact that your partner’s family may first be skeptical of you. They simply want was is best for your partner, so do not take anything personally. Just relax and be yourself.
When you’re meeting the family, take the time to talk to every family member that is there. It is common to want to impress your partner’s parents, but their siblings and other family members should also get some of your time.
Be patient and do not bring up racial and cultural differences. Should your partner’s family bring this up, answer honestly, but never initiate these topics on your own.
The Cultural Divide
When you’re interracial dating, there are different cultural elements that you will need to deal with as a couple. This happens since both of your backgrounds can have a lot of differences. This may result in some conflicts due to both of you having different values.
A person’s outlook on life is often influenced by how they were raised. Factors like relationship roles, love, gender differences and respect that are witnessed as you grow up all play a role. To reduce cultural conflicts, you want to get to know about your partner’s background.
You can talk to them and do some basic study on your own.
When you’re getting to know your partner’s background, consider the following:
- Know what their country of origin is and get to know the basics
- Ask your partner about their beliefs and ideas, and what has happened to shape and define these
- When it is appropriate, get to know your partner’s family and spend time with them
Once you start establishing a bond, you will find that you both start to become more comfortable with your respective differences. The key is to be open with each other and always communicate if any cultural conflicts occur. This will prevent these issues from negatively impacting your bond.
Depending on the person you choose to date, there is a chance that both of you may have a different native language. To get started, you both must be very patient with each other. You can still communicate effectively even when your languages are different.
Make a commitment to helping each other speak each other’s language. Not only does this expand your overall communication skills, but this is also a great chance to bond with each other.
While you’re both working on learning each other’s native language, find a way to communicate in the interim. Consider options, such as picture flashcards or hand symbols. This allows you to communicate well and get to know each other.
Respecting Each Other’s Religion
Certain races and cultures tend to gravitate toward certain religious beliefs. So, when you’re dating people of a different race, it is inevitable that the topic of religion will come up. Just like everything else in your relationship, you must talk openly and honestly about this.
As your relationship develops, there are several questions both you and your partner should answer regarding religion:
- Will you expect your children to follow one partner’s religion, or will they learn about both?
- Will you both need to take the time to study each other’s religion so that you’re informed about the traditions and basis?
- Will both of you be okay if each of you worships your respective religions freely?
- Will one partner need to convert to the other partner’s religion if the two of you decide to get married?
Coping with Disapproval
It is unfortunate, but when you get into interracial dating, there is a chance that someone you know will disapprove of your relationship. Trying to change their mind or understand their thoughts is not where your focus should be. Instead, there are a few tips you can use to cope with this situation should it arise.
When you find out that someone disapproves of your interracial relationship, do not automatically assume the worst. It might not be the mixture of races that bothers them. Ask them for their thoughts and opinions and go from here regarding how you handle it.
Do not just show up at your family’s home with your partner. Instead, let them know who you’re dating and what their background is. This can help to reduce the risk of negative reactions when your friends and family meet your partner for the first time.
It is especially important to give people advanced notice if they tend to be more socially conservative. Do not just assume that them being conservative will make them automatically disapprove. However, on the other hand, do take care with how you let them know about your partner.
Once you find family or friends that disapprove, open up a dialogue with them. In many cases, it can be confusion or unintentional ignorance that is causing them to disapprove. Once you get everything out in the open, you will often find that most people have no issues with interracial couples.
If there is someone in your life who refuses to support your relationship, you may need to distance yourself. Give them some time to see if they come around and get behind you and your partner.
Make sure that you set strong boundaries between your relationship and those who do not approve of it. Set the ground rules and make it clear that you will not end your relationship just because they are not okay with it.
It is important for you to be surrounded by those who make you happy. If someone is bringing negativity into your life and relationship, it is time to put distance between you and the negative person.
Make sure that you’re protecting your partner. If someone who disapproves says something racist or insensitive, do everything that you can to diffuse the situation. It is important that your partner feels safe with you.
Making Your Relationship Work
When you date people from different racial backgrounds, there are some steps that you can take to help ensure that your relationship lasts. These steps will help to make sure that both of you are happy, and that your relationship is able to stand the various tests that society may throw at you.
There will be a cultural difference between the two of you and you need to accept it. Both of you should discuss your cultural practices and any associated boundaries. You should also take the time to learn more about each other’s culture.
Never label your partner as their race. You should see each other as individuals and this is it. This will prevent any of you from getting offended.
It is important that you get support from your friends and family. It is possible for some people you know to not be accepting. You can handle this later, but in the interim, find at least a few people who provide both of you with support.
You will need to work together and build each other up. Avoid taking a leading role in your relationship. Make sure that all decisions are made together so that you have an equal partnership.
Honesty is imperative in your relationship. You must respect each other’s opinions and be able to talk openly about issues that occur as your relationships evolves. You must be able to trust that both of you will put each other first.
Be proud of your partner. Some people hide their partner when they get into interracial dating to try and avoid societal criticism. However, do not do this as it could harm your relationship.
When someone makes racist statements ignore them. They are not part of your relationship and you cannot allow these horrible comments to put a dark cloud on your partnership.
Do’s And Don’ts Of Interracial Dating
When you start interracial dating, there are some do’s and don’ts to be aware of. Once you know what these are, it will be easier for you and your partner to navigate your relationship and build a strong bond.
When you’re in this type of relationship, there are certain things you want to do to celebrate your partner and strengthen your bond. These include:
- Be proud of your race or culture, and help your partner to feel this same pride in their race or culture
- Spend some time learning about your partner’s race or culture
- Know what you want out of a relationship and do not sacrifice this or lower your standards
To ensure that your relationship is strong and equal, there are certain things to avoid when you date people outside of your race. These include:
- Don’t think that dating people of different races is uncommon or strange
- Do not put limitations on the races and cultures that you’re willing to date
- Don’t put your partner on a pedestal and avoid your own feelings just to make them comfortable
- Do not change who you are or try to imitate your partner’s race or culture
Common Interracial Dating Myths
When you start interracial dating, there are certain myths that might come up. Knowing what these are will give you a clearer picture of what to expect when you start to date people from other races.
Interracial dating is more than just white and black. It is a common myth that interracial dating involves one white person with one person from a minority group. When any two people who are of a different race start dating, it is an interracial partnership.
Another myth is that once you date outside of your race, you cannot date your own race again. This is not true. In fact, dating multiple races can actually expand your world, making it easier to spend time with all types of people, including people of your own race.
Date the people you want to spend time with. Do not worry about their race or background. This will give you the best chance at finding your soulmate and true happiness.
Interracial couples are together to bridge the racial divide. While people of multiple races coming together may help this, dating multiple races does not automatically fix the racial divide. Also, you should not date someone just to do this.
When you choose a partner to date, it should be because you truly enjoy their company. You should not have any underlying motives for yourself or society as a whole. If you’re not dating for love, you will wind up being brokenhearted down the road.
Things To Remember When Dating Outside Of Your Race
When you start interracial dating, there are many things that you will learn. It is important that you analyze these lessons to learn more about yourself and your partner.
The most important thing to remember is that dating is dating. Once you start meeting people from different races, you will find that people are not much different, and race is truly only skin deep.
It is imperative that you’re not just looking at a person’s race. Someone’s color is only a tiny fragment of who they are. You need to realize that stereotypes are dangerous, and all people are different.
There will be things that love simply cannot conquer. As you meet people from different races and backgrounds, there might be certain things that you cannot get past. For example, some cultures are very against marriage outside of their culture. This could end your relationship no matter how in love you are.
Racism is often subtle. If you’re white, you likely have gone your entire life never seeing acts of racism in person, but when you start dating people of minority races, you will see it frequently. Do not hide from this, but instead, talk to your partner about it so that you can better understand their life.
For many races, there is a lot of pressure for them to date within their race only. This can cause some fear when you first start dating interracially. It’s important to be patient and take your time getting to know each other to help to overcome this.
Never keep your relationship a secret out of fear of what people will say. For a couple of months, this might work out okay, but in the end, secrecy kills relationships. Be open and be proud of the person you’re dating.
You need to be self-aware. If you have any very specific boundaries or traditions that could interfere with your dating, you must state this upfront. You should ask your partner to do the same so that you can both hash out the logistics from the beginning of your journey.
The most important part of interracial dating is having an open mind and having fun. This type of dating expands your horizons. You not only meet great people, but you get a chance to learn more about different cultures and races.