Lesbian Dating – The Complete Guide To Dating A Lesbian

Whether you have just come out of the closet and are new to the world of lesbian dating, or you have been tied up in a relationship for a while and your game is a little bit rusty, do not panic because we have got you covered. In a world that forever changing, nothing ever stays the same, not even dating tips. But never fear because we always have our ears wide open to listen for the newest tips and tricks to help you amplify your dating life. 

Living in a world when we are taught from an early age the rules of boy-girl dating, it can be quite daunting when we realize that we actually prefer girl-on-girl action instead. In fact, it can be wildly intimidating. Men are so easy. All you need to do is bat your eyelashes, be cold and bitchy, and act completed disinterested, and you will have them falling at your feet. On the other hand, women are completely different. Along with this, lesbian culture is extremely elusive. Unlike gay culture which has men shamelessly advertising fabulous gay parties that help other gay men find partners. That is just not how the lesbian world works, unfortunately. 

If you decide to follow your heart and date a Lesbian, then you will want to make sure you check out our list of best Lesbian dating sites before you proceed.

dating a lesbian womanWhere Can I Meet Lesbian Girls?

Like I mentioned before, lesbians are elusive and quite hard to seek out from the crowd, especially if you live in a small town. However, do not let this dishearten you because we are out there, no matter where you live. 

A pretty timeless tip is to get yourself a wing-woman. Lesbians are usually friendly and helpful to fresh meat when trying to get you a girl. However, I cannot say this without warning that sometimes they can be a little too friendly.

In saying this, your next question will probably be where do I find this wing woman? Well, let us discuss this together. There are a variety of possibilities are where you can find this mentor. Is there a lesbian at your place of work? Could there be a lesbian that works at a bar you visit frequently? What about someone you are mutual friends with? The possibilities are endless, all you need to do is explore them. 

If you are unlucky when it comes to recruiting a lesbian wing woman, do not worry as there is always a back-up plan. This plan is to simply go to a lesbian bar by yourself. Now, before this idea completely puts you off, let us see all advantage to this approach. First, independence is very sexy and before long, you will have a potential partner coming up to you. Added to this, being alone represents that you are fairly new to the tribe and trying this whole thing out. This works in your favor as lesbians that have been in the game for a while are thirsty for young bloods. 

Can I Meet Girls At A Non-Gay Bar?

Of course, you can. You can meet lesbians anywhere! However, I would not recommend this method as you may get your confidence knocked when you find out the girls you are chatting to are actually straight. 

In the early days of you coming out of the closet, hit the gay bars because it is pretty safe to assume that the girls at these bars are gay. If they are not then that is completed okay as they can let you know. However, it is not okay for them to get offended by you hitting on them when they are in your territory. 

A great tip to use is to out yourself as much as possible. In this day and age, your appearance does not let people know you are gay, so make sure that you express your sexual identity wherever you go. This can be done using some hints like, “my ex-girl worked…”, “She’s so hot, I want to marry her” into the conversation every now and then. 

Something to take note of is that gay news travels fast. Before you are aware of it, the word will be out that you are gay and you will have plenty of lesbian singles lining up. 

What About Online Dating? 

If you have been out of the dating game for a while or you are new to being gay, then online dating is your best friend. We have already mentioned before that dating in real life is frustratingly hard. Online dating gives you the ability to meet people without being pulled out of your comfort zone. It is convenient and I cannot understand why it has such a bad reputation. If you notice the concerning amount of gay bars that are being shut down, you would understand that there is a lack of great queer spaces to find yourself a potential partner, and you would hop on your phone and begin swiping left or right. 

Make sure that you put in your bio what you are looking to achieve by using the specific app. Some girls use online dating apps to find girls that are willing to participate in a threesome with their boyfriends. Be upfront with what it is you want so that others, with the same intentions, can have the chance to match with you. This is probably the best advice I can give you when looking at creating an online dating profile. 

Who Pays The Bill?

This is a very common question asked amongst gays. There are many different ways in which this question can be solved. Firstly, you can always split the bill. However, this is not very sexy and can be quite unromantic. Along with this, this is something that is seen as very friendly and is something to avoid. The lines between friendship and love can be easily blurred in lesbian land. With that being said, it is important to draw distinctive lines in the sand. Be friendly to your friends and lovely to your lovers. It is that simple, ladies. 

You could pay the bill. This could be really appreciated by your date and may even encourage a second date. However, if you are dating a lot, this may not be the best option to use all the time. It is also good to remember that if you offer to pay the bill, you are going to pay the bill. So, be careful when throwing those words around. 

If your date offers to pay the bill, do not stress. Straight girls get treated all the time – you should too. You should not be robbed of being romantically indulged just because of the fact that you are a lesbian. I know it will feel different and awkward but it is a date and if she wants to pay, then let her pay. 

Being an old school lesbian usually means that you subscribe to the butch and femme roles. In saying this, they may feel that the more masculine energy should be the one to pay the bill. That is fine if it works for you but it is seen as a pretty antiquated mentality within modern gay culture. 

What Do I Wear?

When thinking of what you wish to were when looking for a potential lover or going out on a date, always remember to dress as yourself. Women are drawn to authenticity. Wear whatever you want to wear, whether it be jeans and a t-shirt or 6-inch heels and a tight dress. You wear what you feel is a true representation of you. Do not feel any pressure to dress like a stereotypically gay woman. That is not going to suit you well in the world of lesbians. There is something out there for everyone. 

What About Sex?

A great part about the lesbian community is that there is rarely any slut-shaming that goes on. If you are feeling in the moment and you are comfortable, then go for it because life is too short. Embracing your sexual identity will allow a whole new you to come out. It is a magical experience. Sexuality is the core of who you are and when you can finally express the core of who you are, all formerly displaced parts of you will fall back into place. 

Important Tips To Help You In The World Of Lesbian Dating:

Keep Your Nails Short

If you have ever had sex with a woman or can picture having sex with a woman, then you can see that you cannot have long fingernails. Keeping your nails short is the equivalent to a man always carrying a condom. No one wants to be stabbed in the vagina by long fingernails. I think we can agree that it would be all very embarrassing to make your partner bleed from their genitals. 

Another reason to keep your nails short is that it can help you be identified as a lesbian by other lesbian women. You might not find yourself getting hit on that much if you have long fingernails. 

A nail file or nail clippers are essential to have in any lesbian’s bag. If you are not the type to carry a bag, you can get nail clippers that attach to your keys or wallet. The last thing you want is to meet a girl and then realize that you have let your nails grow out. We all know how quickly our nails can become overgrown. 

Protected Sex Does Not Just Apply To Straight Girls

I cannot stress this enough but you should carry condoms. While lesbians are less likely to contract an STD, there is still a chance of this occurring. The portrayal of lesbian sex makes it look as though it is low-risk. However, the bad news is that you can still transmit herpes, HPV, or even oral yeast infections through oral or digit-vaginal sex. 

It is actually very common for queer women not to practice safe sex. The risks are not widely known, unlike unprotected gay sex that has been proven deadly due to HIV Aids. Most queer women do not even know how to perform safe sex. 

Safe sex is performed with the help of dental dams. Dental dams are meant to be spread over the vulva to provide a barrier between the genitals and the mouth. 

It is highly unlikely that your average corner store with have dental dams. That is why it is a good idea to carry around a condom, as it is a fantastic alternative. If you cut the elastic ring off as well as the tip-off, and slit it longways, you would have made yourself a dental dam. It is recommended to use a condom that is unlubricated and does not have a strong latex taste. 

Never Limit Yourself To A ‘Type’

Not putting it lightly but limiting yourself to one specific type is a terrible idea. Branching out and trying new things is so important. Plus, you would not want to miss out on any extraordinary experiences that await you. Do not cut yourself off of a certain type of girl just because she reminds you of someone you used to date or because you do not think you will be into it. You may find yourself having a completely different outlook on it fuller down the line. Added to this, do not neglect girls that have just recently come out, out of fear that they are just testing the waters. You were once just coming out of the closet too. Remember, you do not want to be the equivalent of the guy that just dates blondes. Have a bit more substance and go out there and live a little. 

Do Not Date Straight Girls

Not dating a straight girl seems fairly obvious. However, it is actually pretty common to find yourself falling for your straight best friend or girls that are just testing the waters. Regardless of what they say, these girls will make any attempt at getting them to settle down with you utterly fruitless. Save yourself the heartbreak and sorrow and realize that you are not going to be the one to change her, or make her want to come out of the closet. If she is indeed bisexual or lesbian, then she will get to a stage in her life when she is comfortable being who she is but you chasing a relationship with her is not going to do it. 

We will be happy to hear your thoughts

      Leave a reply

      Our Dating Journey