One of the most challenging aspects of online dating is verifying if the man you are texting is worth the trouble. With the rise of online dating comes the increase of catfishing, terrible dates, and scammers who lure their romantic victims in with the promise of love.
If you want to protect yourself and keep the flame of love alive in your heart, then you need to know the signs of a bad guy so you can weed them out properly.
Talk To Him Over The Phone
This method is the most effective way to weed out Mr. Wrong. By speaking to him over the phone or a messaging app, you’ll quickly discover who he really is within the first few minutes of conversation. You’ll be able to hear his voice, his inflections, read sarcasm, and how high or low his voice is. Another plus side of this is that you’ll be able to hear how sexy his voice is.
You can also take this step to see if there is an instant connection over the phone or not. Of course, the only negative with talking over the phone is that he has your phone number. If you’re worried about having the wrong guys with your phone number, we suggest apps that allow voice messaging, such as WhatsApp, Viber, Line, or Tango Text.
Maybe Your Friends Know Him
Show your friends the online profile of the man you’re considering. Maybe they’ll know him.
To know if a man is worth your time or not, ask your friends. You may be viewing his profile with rose-colored glasses, but your friends will be cold and discerning, just as they should be. Your true friends won’t let you go out with a loser.
Your friends may personally know the man you like. Then they can warn you of his strange behaviors and past issues.
Check Out Their Other Social Media Accounts
Many men online don’t know about social media safety, so you should take advantage of this. If they have their online dating profile link to their LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, Tiktok, and other social media sites, you need to check it out.
Remember that everybody tries to make themselves look as good as possible on social media, so if they’re smart, their online dating profile won’t have anything they know to be a red flag. Some guys don’t care at all about how they come off to other women, and so they will fill out their profile and have a complete list of red flags.
These red flags are what they consider to be characteristics of their unique and fantastic personality. But you’re not looking at that type of guy. You are looking at guys who look good, but you must know more about them. Remember that everything on social media is only surface-level, and the truth is hidden.
When He Flakes on You
If he cancels at the last minute without a good reason, ditch him
Sometimes life intervenes, and we can’t always make it to our dates. If he has a sudden emergency and has to cancel, then that’s okay. But he has to have a good excuse.
These are good excuses: “I need to drive my grandma to the hospital/ take care of a sick family member,” or “My dog got out, and I can’t find them,” or “My boss just called, and I need to pick up a shift or else.”
But if he says, “Oh, hey, I just don’t feel like going today.” Or “I fell asleep and just woke up,” these are sorry ass excuses, and you should ditch him. Your time is essential, and if he’s already disregarding your time and energy before the first date, you don’t want anything to do with that mess.
Canceling for some stupid reason is disrespectful to you. If he did not want to go in the first place, then he should have said something. If he didn’t want to go but then changed his mind, it is then his responsibility to inform you that he no longer wants to go. Avoiding you and just waiting for the date to pass by as if it was something that he did not plan or schedule is rude, and he will be inconsiderate in other areas of his life.
Learn About His Political Stances Now, Before You Meet
Learn about how he views certain groups of people before you tell him your views. Remember: many men who want to have sex with as many women as possible will often change their behaviors, beliefs, and stances on specific topics so that they can have sex with a woman.
And do not fall for the Schrodinger’s douchebag event. A popular internet term, Schrodinger’s douchebag is a person who says something offensive under the disguise of a joke. Based on their audience’s reaction, they will change what they meant by it.
Let’s say they make a joke about gay people. If their audience thinks their joke is funny, then they will happily continue with gay jokes. But if their audience dislikes the joke, then they will backtrack and say, “That’s what bigots would think. It’s wild how some people think like that.”
Ask to Video Chat
This tip is so simple and yet so practical. Before you decide to meet anyone from the internet, be sure to video chat with them at least once. If they do not want to video chat, then don’t meet with them.
A video chat lets you know what they look like in real-time. Many people want to use the best version of themselves online, so men will use old photos of themselves when they were in their early twenties and could eat anything they want and still have six-pack abs.
Video chat also reveals the vibe of your potential new boyfriend. Several characteristics can’t show themselves through text. When you video chat with him, you’ll be able to see his expressions, facial movements, body language, and how they act when they have to answer specific questions.
Are you still finding bad guys online? Read our guide about The Top 5 Reasons People Fail At Online Dating.
Don’t Make Excuses for Him
When we are attracted to someone or think they are a potential romantic interest, we tend to brush off red flags and destructive behaviors. But if we brush them off, we’re only telling the man who’s doing those behaviors that you’re okay with it.
If you tell your friends what he’s doing and what his excuses are, and they look at you as if you just told them a Nigerian scammer is going to send you $1,000,000 by Friday, take a step back. Perhaps the next time you video chat, have one of your friends there in the background so they can check him out for you.
Online dating will be the most popular way to find your partner or spouse in just a few years, so you must learn how to weed out bad men now. No matter how much you like them, you should verify everything he says and have your friends evaluate him as well.
I’m not telling you to be a cynic when it comes to love, but you need to protect yourself so you don’t have your heart smashed by a man who lives on his friend’s couch and regularly has Cheeto dust on his dick.