5 Online Dating Advice for Women Over 40

Marketing agencies do their best to convince women that love only happens when we are in our 20s and 30s. Seriously, when was the last movie you saw about two 40 years old in love? When the movie industry makes that kind of movie, it is the man who is in his 40s, but the woman is always in her late 20s. However, this is a fantasy. Women can find love, no matter their age. Sometimes, she finds it when she’s not even looking! But the dating world isn’t so great in our 40s. So, to help women in their 40s find love, here are five online dating advice for women over 40. 

1. Don’t go out on one-night stands if you are looking for a serious relationship

Never engage in a one-night stand with a man you just met, especially if you are looking for a relationship. This rule is not an attempt to slut-shame. It is a rule created to keep you from being used by men who will do anything for sex.

The most important reason to stick to this rule is that it will keep horndogs and liars away. Men who are only looking for casual sex and have no integrity will do anything they can to stay on their good side. They will say that they are looking for whatever you are looking for so they can lure you into bed. Once you have sex, they will not want anything to do with you. 

However, if you want casual sex, but you only want to have sex with someone you trust, you should still vet the men who respond to you. No matter what you want, you don’t want to have sex with deceitful people. 

2. Don’t look for a project

Mature man and woman walking in a plant field

Finding a great man to spend your day with is difficult, so many women find a man who has a few basic qualities they require, like job security, hygiene, and good credit. Then, they slowly train him to act like their ideal man. They fall in love with his potential. But this doesn’t work. These artificial changes don’t last for long, so that you will do all of that hard work for nothing. Ladies, he is over 40 now. He is not changing. No matter how much work you do on him or how hard you tried to convince him he is not living up to his true potential, he is who he is now.

One major reason women decide to fix up men instead of looking for their ideal man is that they do not want to be alone anymore. Whether you’re a man or a woman, being alone is difficult, and many people aspire to be in relationships so they can have the support and love of someone.

3. Are some of your dealbreakers a bit shallow?

Every single one of us has dating dealbreakers. It is important to our dating lives and our self-respect to have boundaries and dealbreakers to not end up with people who treat us like trash. But there is such a thing as a shallow deal breaker. For example, if your deal breakers are cheating, spending money on women other than you, have a ton of 20-year-old girls on his Instagram feed, then that is all completely understandable. But if your deal breakers are the clothes he wears, his choices of music, or his love of football, then you may want to reconsider these characteristics. These “deal breakers” are silly and not something you want to judge your future life partner.

Another way to know if your deal breakers are worth keeping: If your friends are the type of people who have wonderful relationships, then take their advice. But if they are all miserable and unhappy in their relationships with their lazy husbands, then hold back on embracing their advice. Or do the opposite of what they did. If their deal breakers are what a man wears and his hobbies, take these characteristics off your dealbreaker list. 

4. Don’t pick any online dating site; choose one specific to what you are looking for

Mature woman with a glass of white wine in front of the laptop

You’re in your 40s now, so your career should be taking off. A decade and a half of work are finally coming together. A professional such as you may have access to all different gatherings and networking events across your state. While you are at these gatherings, you can connect with others in your industry. These places are great for meeting your next business partner, but that’s not all the events are going for.

Another sound online dating advice is to try looking for a person you would like to form a relationship with. You are much more likely to meet someone developing their life and business/career, just like you. Plus, you already have a few things you can talk about other than the weather. Some events have mixers for networking, but you may come back with a boyfriend if you display a flirty attitude. 

Looking to date a professional? Check out our article about the Best Dating Sites For Professionals to get you in the right direction.

5. Don’t enter the dating world just because you’re single again

Many people in their 40s go through a divorce, which is exhausting and traumatizing. They must rip apart their established lives with the person they vowed to stay with until death separated them. After experiencing divorce, many women are tired and wish to work on themselves instead of looking for another romantic partner. So even if your friends hound you because they want to know when you will re-enter the dating world, you don’t have to if you don’t want to. After a divorce, you should set aside time to re-establish your identity as a single person again. 


Do not think that you have to settle for less because you are in your forties or have no happy ending for you. Love is just as achievable for you as it is for a 22-year-old who is just graduating college. It might be even easier for you since you know how to spot a red flag, and everyone in your age group has formed their permanent personalities. You have been around the block and have seen everything and more.

Just stick to your boundaries and keep an open mind. Keep searching for love and romance, and you will eventually find it. What do you think about these five online dating advice for women over 40?

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