8 Tips On How to Start an Online Dating Conversation

Entering the world of online dating for the first time can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be! Wondering how to introduce yourself and reach out to a person you find attractive is often the most challenging. There are some super simple tips that you can employ to increase your chances of striking up a positive conversation with someone you would like to get to know. 

Crucial to your success is being able to connect with people in a jovial, non-threatening way. You only get one chance at a first impression when it comes to online dating, so you don’t want to waste it. What’s more, statistics tell us that, on average, you will need to send out 114 messages to get just one reply, so patience and perseverance are also key! 

So, without further ado, let’s dive in and take a look at how to start an online dating conversation that is likely to get you a response.

1. Do Your Research

Researching the person you’re hoping to connect with seems an obvious place to begin, but many people check out the pictures and jump straight in with a message. 

However, failing to read a person’s profile means you will miss out on many helpful conversation starters. By researching someone’s profile, you can find out what they love doing, where their favorite places are, as well as what’s most important to them in life. 

You can then use this information to create interesting and relevant questions that invite them to talk about their life. 

2. Get Them Talking About Their Interests

Starting with a simple icebreaker question asking for their opinions about something is an ideal way to begin. 

It can be anything from their favorite ice cream flavor to their preferred traveling destination in South America but asking people a simple question about a topic they’re interested in is an excellent way to strike up a conversation. 

Using the intel you’ve gathered from their profile, you can make sure your initial questions will pique their interest and hopefully get you a response. 

3. Avoid Shallow Messages Based on Looks

If you send someone a message on an online dating site, it can be taken as a given that you find them attractive. 

Otherwise, why would you bother getting in touch? 

Please don’t waste your time telling them how beautiful they are or how they have the most angelic eyes. Such messages rarely get a response and are often interpreted as a little creepy. It’s much better to use your first exchange to ask a quirky question to get their attention. 

Compliments can come later, preferably when you’ve been on a couple of dates! 

4. Keep It Light-Hearted

Happy woman dancing in front of her laptop

Striking the right tone is super important when it comes to online dating. If you’re too casual or a little short, you might come across as arrogant or obnoxious. 

Equally, if you’re busy telling someone you’ve never met your life story, they’ll think you’re a bit full-on and will ignore you all the same. The key to early exchanges on dating sites is to keep things pleasant, light-hearted, and good-humored if you can. 

Quirky questions about shared interests or comments about relatable cultural topics of interest go down really well and give you a mutual foundation upon which to build a conversation. 

5. Don’t Try Too Hard to Be Funny

We’ve all seen clips of comedians blow on stage. It’s so awkward! 

While you don’t have an audience for your private online dating messages, delivering poorly thought-out jokes to try and get a laugh is an absolute online dating no-no.

The same is true for corny pick-up lines from the seventies. While it might work once in a lifetime, the chances are that the person online will have seen them all before and will scroll past your message. 

While humorous, good-natured questions work wonders, jokes and pick-up lines just for the sake of it don’t. 

6. Play Desert Island (or Something Similar) as an Icebreaker

Desert island is a popular party (and drinking) game and is an excellent way to strike up a conversation online. What’s more, their answers will be incredibly revealing and will teach you a lot about the person you’re hoping to date. 

Usually, they will reciprocate and ask you to name the three things you would take to a desert island. It would be best if you then used this as an opportunity to promote your own interests and passions. 

Think carefully about what you write, as it will tell her a lot about your interests and priorities. 

7. Be Brave and Talk About the Future

African man talking cell phone with laptop

You can use your early exchanges to ask someone about the future. 

Granted, it would be weird to come out with something like ‘when do you want to be married with kids by?’ 

But equally, talking about the future in your initial messages shows that you’re serious about getting to know this person, and you aren’t just looking for a fling. 

Get creative when asking about the future, as it can be an excellent way of learning if your aspirations match.

8. Don’t Waste Time Before Suggesting a Date

You might hear your friends talking about the fact that they’ve spent weeks (or even months!) talking to people on dating sites without meeting up in real life. 

Remember that you should be using dating sites to set up dates with people you find attractive! 

There’s no harm in asking someone out for a coffee after only a couple of messages have been exchanged. Suggesting to them that you’d prefer to get to know one another in person rather than online is a difficult thing to say no to.

Also, if you’ve spent months chatting online, by the time it comes to meeting up, you won’t have anything left to say, and your date will be a little awkward!

Bottom Line

Hopefully, these tips have provided you with some much-needed confidence if you’re starting your online dating journey. 

Equally, if you’ve been struggling to get responses, tweaking your approach slightly and following these guidelines will undeniably help you connect with people you find attractive. But remember, meeting the right person online can take time and requires lots of patience. 

Don’t get discouraged if things are slow-going at first; you’ll find that you’ll meet someone soon enough if you stick at it.  

About The Author

Ella is a relationship and dating blogger. She writes to share her dating tips and love advice to help women and men meet their Mr. or Mrs. Right and teach them how to create happy and lasting relationships. She is currently the editor-in-chief of the long-distance dating blog: DatingLongDistance.com.

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