5 Online Dating Signs He’s Not Interested

No one in this world believes that online dating is easier than dating in real life. Still, many people underestimate how difficult it can be. Between finding someone compatible with your goals and outlooks, discovering if they are within driving distance of your home, asking if they are looking for a relationship or a casual hookup, and trying to be flirty and funny in your chats to keep them interested, it feels like you’re just jumping through hoops, so you don’t end up alone. No matter how much you work you do, it’s all for nothing if the guy you’re talking to is not interested. To avoid the situation, here are six online dating signs he’s not interested in you.

Sign #1: He takes forever to message you back.

Sending and receiving messages is a no-brainer in any online dating world. It is the only way to communicate. So if his texting etiquette is poor and you never hear from him, consider that a red flag. Now, that doesn’t mean that he will be available to text back 24/7. If you text him on a Tuesday at 2 pm, he is probably at work, making sense if he messages you in a few hours. But if he doesn’t work or you text him on his day off, and he still takes forever to get back to you, then messaging you is not a priority to him. 

Sign #2: He only texts you at 2 am.

Taking forever to message you back is one thing, but only messaging you when it’s 2 am, and he’s bored. The fact that he cannot message you when daylight is out is just disrespectful. And as we all know, he’s probably horny and looking for a casual encounter. If he texts you at 2 am, the ensuing conversation will not be stimulating or intelligent at all. 

He will ask about your day, reply to whatever you say with a few “haha” or “That’s wild” texts, and then ask if you want to meet up for drinks. Maybe he won’t even ask about the drink part. Many men cannot hold a basic conversation, and he will say, “Hey do you want to come over?” or they will ask, “What are you wearing?” So if he only texts you after the clock strikes midnight, block him and move on.

Sign #3: He doesn’t remember the details of your life.

If a man, or anyone for that matter, is interested in you, they will remember what you say. They may not remember everything, especially if you have not met in person. Still, they will try to clarify what they remember. They will also scroll up to see what you two have talked about. But a man who is not interested in you will not put forth any effort into remembering the details of your life. You will find yourself repeating the same details you have told him over and over again. Sometimes he may be able to jog his memory and say, “Yeah, I remember when you told me that. But that doesn’t mean that he cares.

Sign #4: He doesn’t want to deactivate his dating profile.

Young black man scratching head while at desk

No matter how long you have been talking or how committed he says he is to you if he does not want to deactivate or delete his online dating profile, he is not completely yours. He still wants to look at other women and a trapped new hookup and sexual encounters. It doesn’t matter what he says. He can say a million things, but if he does not deactivate his account, he’s not interested in being your boyfriend. Pursuing other women is his goal no matter what he tells you. 

He will go out and hook up with these women and then come to you when he has issues or problems. He wants all of the benefits of a relationship without the actual commitment part. Don’t fall for this bullshit. It would be best if you respect yourself. So when you ask him to delete his dating profile, and he gives you some dumb shit excuse, walk away. Committing yourself to a man who has no interest in committing himself shows that you have low self-esteem. You need to fight for a better romantic life. This guy will use you as a human flashlight. 

Sign #5: He won’t give you his phone number.

If you have been messaging a man on an online dating site and feel connected enough to take your communication to the next level, ask him for his phone number. If he gives it, then that is great. But if he does not want to give it to you, this is a deal-breaker. Not giving you his cell phone number sign that he does not want to talk to you that often. So now you ask, “What if he is worried about privacy?” Well, I can assure you he’s not worried about privacy. He does not want to talk to you that often.

Bottom line: If a man is interested in you, you will know it. He will do his best to communicate with you often, remember the details of your life, and arrange Skype dates and real-life dates so you two can grow closer. If you are constantly in a state of confusion and feel like you can never get a clear read on his interest level, he is not interested. It may hurt to hear, but this piece of advice will save you From countless bad dates and semi-interested nonchalant men. If he is uninterested, but he still talks to you from time to time, it means that he has nothing better going on. When he finds someone he likes, don’t forget about you and ghosts you. 


Setting boundaries and watching a man’s actions is the best way to keep yourself from being strung along for months and months. As I said above, a man who is interested in you will make it obvious. He will make it easy for you to contact him, and he will arrange dates so you two can be together. Confusion, anxiety, and worry about losing him should not be part of your relationship with a man you have never met.

Don’t get discouraged! Read our article on how not to get discouraged with online dating.

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